Beyond the Deficit Angle: Post-Traumatic Growth

Trauma is the sum of all the changes we undergo in the aftermath of overwhelming, negative experiences that exceed our ability to cope.

Adversity - particularly when it's chronic and experienced at an early age - can leave a lasting imprint on us, modifying how our minds and bodies work.

The changes in our patterns of thought, feeling and behaviour as a result of adversity are often called traumatic adaptations. Constant hypervigilance, emotional disconnect, reluctance to trust, or pulling back from relationships are just some of the ways survivors learn to protect themselves — even when the original danger has long passed.

These adaptations are perfect for surviving through abnormal and unreasonable situations. But in everyday life, they can be unhelpful and feel heavy to carry. Ironically, it what once kept us safe can also get in the way of thriving! That’s why traumatic adaptations are so often framed as problems to be “fixed” or “let go of.” Survivors often struggle with self-image, and this extra layer of judgement is unhelpful.

Trauma is indeed a story of pain and struggle, but not just that. It is also a story of perseverance, strength, and finding a way through impossible circumstances. Some people even experience post-traumatic growth — discovering new strengths, clarity, or appreciation for life after hardship.

The cracks are not the main story.

In coaching, we often talk about resources — the internal and external assets that help people reach their goals. Skills, mindset, experiences, supportive friends, books — all of these represent resources. What strikes me in my conversations with, and about, survivors is how many of these resources are hiding in plain sight, and how little acknowledgement they tend to receive.

Because alongside the pain, trauma can also foster remarkable strengths:

• A finely tuned sensitivity to other people’s moods and energy.

• Attention to detail and the ability to deliver high-quality work.

• A knack for spotting what could go wrong, and planning ahead to reduce risks.

• Deep empathy and compassion for others in pain.

• Creativity in problem-solving, born from having to “think around” difficult situations.

• Determination and perseverance — the grit that comes from knowing you’ve survived before and can keep going.

  
  

These are not “silver linings” to justify what happened. Trauma should never have happened. But it did, and many survivors carry these strengths as part of their story.

Recovery, then, is not about tearing down everything we’ve built. It’s about softening the self-criticism, practicing compassion, and noticing the strengths woven into our adaptations. It’s about honouring who we’ve become, and allowing ourselves to gently explore who we want to become going forward.

If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: any traumatic adaptations you may still carry are not a sign of weakness. They are symbols of survival, strength, and possibility. Your story is precious. You are more capable than you may realise.

If you'd like to talk about the power of your story, why not get in touch?

Until next time,

Adina