Managers are Not Therapists (And Shouldn’t Be)

One of the most common questions I get when I talk to leaders is: “Can you give me some clues on how to recognize signs of trauma in my team?”

It’s a well-intended question. It comes from a natural desire to put theory into practice and start working on the problem—because that’s what leaders do. They fix problems.

Except, fixing this particular problem doesn’t start with the leader scanning for trauma in a team. I cannot emphasize this enough: leaders cannot "spot" trauma in others at work, nor should they try.

Becoming trauma-informed isn’t about feeding our inner psychologist and labeling people based on the narrow, heavily filtered view we have of them in the workplace. Trauma is a deeply subjective experience. It is for the person living it to manage, turn toward, and hopefully work on with help from qualified professionals outside of work.

You wouldn’t try to spot diabetes around the office, would you? Trauma is no different.

There is also no standard “look” of trauma, despite the media's often simplistic and dramatic portrayal of it. I’ve spoken to dozens of survivors who work, and while themes of trauma often overlap, the reality of their everyday lives is vastly different. It’s a complex picture where job demands, self-awareness, relationships, and stage of recovery all play a role.

It is not a leader’s job to discover trauma, or try to fix it. Instead of looking for clues, a better question to ask is: “How should I lead a team where at least one person might have a history of trauma?” The role of the trauma-aware leader is to:

• Assume presence: Operate as if trauma is already in the room (the bigger the team, the more likely that is).

• Minimise the risk of re-traumatisation: Prioritise psychological safety, personal agency, and give employees voice and choice as much as possible.

• Lead with curiosity and compassion: Understand the needs and motivations behind people’s behaviours rather than simply judging the outcomes.

• Facilitate the right support: If a team member chooses to open up, you don't need to provide a cure. Your job is to guide them toward expert help and ensure their job isn’t part of the problem.

Ultimately, trauma-informed leadership is not about adding a part-time therapist role to a manager's already full-on job. It’s about leading in a way that helps people feel safe enough to do their best work, and transforming the workplace into a source of resilience instead of toxic stress.

Until next time,

Adina